Less than two weeks into the new year and “resolution check!” My belt is down a couple notches and my arms are filling out my tees a little better—check. I’ve got a handle on managing a full-time job, full-time school, and full-time board commitment—check. I talk to my mama and God everyday—check.
Seems like everything is in a good place. Until I look at the love department. Year after year, I square myself up in the mirror and give myself a good talking-to. (“You is smart, you is kind…”) But after string after string of broken relationships, blotchy courtships, and regretted situationships, I have had to ask myself “Do you really believe that you’re somebody?” And not in the fifth-grade graduation speech type of way, but like truly, ask myself “do you know your worth?”
So often I’ve noticed I consistently create space for people in my life and so often they aren’t doing the same, or they are not creating the same type of space, for me. And sometimes I just flat out don’t see it, well, until I’m looking in the mirror (“You is smart, you is kind…”) And I’m certain I’m not alone. I think it might be beneficial for us all to do a check. What’s more is that whilst so often we’re looking for love and that warm place to share with another, I would say it needs to start with yourself.
I’ve told myself that, as part of my resolution check, all the things that I want to pour into another person, I’m going to start with me (cue "The Greatest Love of All"). Anything that you're ready to do with a mate, do it with yourself first-- and I do mean anything. Below is my #Geraldism 10 Self-Love Resolutions:
Sing love songs—to yourself.
Buy something nice—for yourself.
Slow dance—with yourself.
Stare into your own eyes.
Learn your own interesting secrets and idiosyncrasies.
Take time to explore what gets you going… and what doesn’t
Keep yourself excited.
Accept your own flaws and all.
Be supportive and vulnerable—with yourself.
Be fair—to yourself.
Love is a beautiful thing and being able to share life with someone is just as beautiful, but remind yourself that love starts with you. And, I say all the time, how can you expect someone to enjoy spending time with you if you don’t enjoy spending time with you? When it’s time, it’ll be great. And it’ll be even better learning and loving another person when you’ve done the work to learn and love yourself. So, resolution check, what work are you doing to keep yourself and your love for self on track?