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30 Things in 30 Years: Communicate in Terms Give You Peace

Speaking in terms that make you feel better and express who you are and what you feel is so important. Sometimes we mince words and bite back on the strength of “being the bigger person” or “taking the high road,” but sometimes you have to say what you feel. Of course, tact, grace, and decorum are always necessary, when it’s to the point of becoming vexed, angry, or out of sorts, we need to address it. I can’t tell you me how many movies I’ve suffered through, dinners I’ve forced down, rides I’ve rerouted for, schedules I’ve readjusted-- and the list goes on and on—just to “keep peace” or “be civilized.”

Mind you, this was years ago, as my sanity is much too valuable for these types of changes.

Yet, for years, I had to work through guilt complexes, thinking, “If I don’t do it, it won’t get done, and my poor loved one will be desolate and forsaken.” But guess what? When you say no, folk move on to their next option. Whilst you rearranging your day, your budget and your life, people have moved on to their plan B.

I have a standing joke (and I use the word “joke” loosely) when certain people ask me to humor them in some manner, my response is, “What were you going to do if I wasn’t available? Do that.”

Of course, that’s not the way for everybody, but find terms to speak that express what you feel and make you feel your best and most at peace. Seething in silence is so last year…


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