30 Things in 30 Years: Be the One You Want to Have
I find it very funny that people want an upstanding, loving, and “all-that-other-good-stuff” mate when they haven’t been that to anybody. How do you figure that all of a sudden somebody worthwhile will just fall in your lap when you haven’t been, well, worthwhile? Sometimes it happens. And those individuals are grateful beyond words, I’m sure. But many times, it’s unlikely. Many times.
How do you ask for the man of your dreams, if you haven’t been living as the man of someone’s dreams? You say, “I want a man/woman who is faithful and loving and takes care of themselves and (insert laundry list of admirable traits).” But have you been a living example of any of the things on your list?
Think about it. Do you think somebody is praying for somebody who has been running the streets, has a “recovering reputation ,”is bad with money, and doesn’t like to clean? But then do you think that the Stars would send you to somebody who has and is expecting the same?
I also have to ask that if and when you did receive your King or Queen, would you be able to handle him or her…properly? Someone who is faithful and attentive would he soon be called “thirsty and hard-up?” Somebody who’s a homebody and likes to save money, would she be “boring and cheap?”
People are so quick to be like, “I’m over love.” “I’m over men.” “I’m over women.” But what have you done for people to be over you?
I live by the phrase, “What you put out there comes back to you.” No judgment, no shade, but how do you expect to be rewarded for unrewardable behavior, especially as it relates to relationships—looking for Prince Charming when you’ve been nothing but Evil Queen.
Of course, many of us have been wronged on the account of no-good boyfriends and scandalous girlfriends. We’ve gotten the short end of the stick and been stuck holding the bag many times. Trust me, I know all too well. If so, this clearly isn’t for you. Those who have dished their share shall surely take their share. But there is a group of us who are “looking for love,” but have planted more weeds than seeds.
We want better and expect better when it comes to our mates, but let’s want better and expect better for ourselves so we can want better and have better in our mates.