In this week’s article, we look into the third installment of The Four Agreements—don’t make assumptions. Most times when it comes to assumptions, they are things accepted to be true, but not necessarily so. When it comes to assumptions, find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, grief, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
When we make assumptions, it is because we believe we know what others are thinking and feeling. We believe we know their point of view. We forget that our beliefs are just our point of view based on our belief system and personal experiences and have nothing to do with what others think and feel.
We make the assumption that everybody judges us, abuses us, victimizes us, and blames us the way we do ourselves. As a result we reject ourselves before others have the chance to reject us. On the opposite, we think that people love, think, tolerate, and consider us the way we do ourselves. Either way, when we think this way, it becomes difficult to be ourselves in the world.
Take action and be clear to others about what you want or do not want. Respect other points of view and avoid arguing just to be right. Respect yourself and be honest with yourself. Stop expecting the people around you to know what is in your head—don’t make assumptions.