So it seems I’ve been giving a lot of advice about “cutting folk off,” and I can easily see how people might be like, “Dang, he needs a friend… Or a laxative.” But after years of not saying what I mean or dealing with the other people’s baggage, it is a cleansing feeling to be able to “woosah” and make decisions that make me feel good.
But even still, I understand how difficult it can be to actually think something—and then say it. Years ago, I was introduced to an amazing book that made me reconsider the way we tend to communicate with others. The Four Agreements, by don Miguel Ruiz, describes four principles that can “create love and happiness in your life.”
Yeah, right, you’re probably thinking. That basically describes every book sitting in every self-help section of every bookstore today.
But these four simple truths are actual magic. The trick is that very few people, even after learning them, can live them:
Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.
Don’t Take Anything Personally: Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
Don’t Make Assumptions: Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
Always Do Your Best: Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.
All four Agreements are super powerful, so I’ve decided to do a series on each. Stay tuned in the weeks to follow to see my thoughts on the Four Agreements and how to apply them to real life!